Oh my god, people. More views on my blog today than EVER before. So, I’ll say this, if there’s silent people out there, afraid to de-lurk, welcome! I won’t bite, I promise.

So, first item of business? I finally listed this blog today over at Blogher, and I’m really quite excited about it. When I was over there, I noticed that there was something mentioned about Greensboro. So, I clicked on over, and it looks like Blogher is going on the road in October, and will be stopping not too far from my home. So, although I’m not positive I’ll be there (because, you know, October IS a long time away) I already put myself on the list.

Second?

I’ve had a request or two to think about Monkeys. Now, I’ll say, when I first think of a money, I now think of my friend David who refers to himself as “monkey boy”. He’s a big kite nerd who lives up in Vancouver, and generally makes me smile. So, Preita, I’m sorry, I don’t think I hate monkeys as much as you because my thoughts of David make me smile.

However?

I do think that monkeys are definitely creepy. While I may not share your same level of dislike, I definitely share the sentiment of “no thanks!”

I’ve always joked with friends about picking fleas of their hair and eating them. It always adds up to a good laugh. But? I’ve seen fleas. They’re gross. I would NEVER EVER actually put one in my mouth and eat it. And when I do have to touch them? I squish them with my fingernails so FAST that you’d think I was on fire. Then I sanitize the HELL out of myself.

Then?

The cats get flea treatments again. And my sheets get washed.

Because fleas? GROSS. And when I think of monkeys, I think of fleas. But, monkeys also make me think of ticks, which just make my skin fucking crawwwwwwwl.

I have to be honest. In the last few years, I realized that my upbringing in Michigan had me somehow sheltered from some of the bug life of the world. I’ve never really dealt with ticks until I moved back to NC. I didn’t even know what they looked like, besides the cartoon “the Tick”, and we all know how accurate cartoons are.

The Tick

So, one day, I look down at my hand and notice this black THING crawling on me. I get it off and smashed it. And then it started to crawl away. I smashed it again. It crawled again.

THE FUCKER WOULDN’T DIE.

Grosssssssssss.

Finally I cut it in two with my thumbnail and burned it with a match. It was definitely dead at this point, and if it HAD crawled again, I probably would have had an out of body experience.

But, seriously? Ticks creep me out BIG TIME. Monkeys are somewhere in the middle of the creepy list. Ticks are at the top.

Just thinking about them makes my skin crawl. I feel like I need to go take a shower and give my cats the bug killing meds JUST IN CASE.

Oh wait, they got the tubes of awesome smelly treatment already this week. I can’t give them to them for another good 4 weeks. Dang.

So. You asked and I gave. This was my ramble that started with the thought of a monkey. Also? I LOVE the creepy monkey in Family Guy. It always makes me laugh a LOT.

Evil Monkey

Next up? Tuna melts at subway.

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