So, I have about a million thoughts in my head, so I’m going to do the bullet point post.

  • I totally started to cry at the YMCA today. Why? I was cancelling my membership because I can’t afford it. They have an open doors policy where you can show them pay stubs to get a reduced rate, but my boss doesn’t send me pay stubs. They say that you can get a letter written from your employer to replace pay stubs, but he hasn’t done that either. So? Yeah, totally started to cry at the YMCA today. Hi, I’m lame.
  • Also? I need to stay on the anti-depressants, which also makes me want to cry. I have enough left for about 2 weeks, and my doctor in TX said that once I felt pretty stable for 3 or 4 months, my dosage is low enough that I could take myself off of them. So, in the last week or 2, I’ve forgotten to take my pills probably 1/2 of the time. And, I cried at the YMCA. Yeah, need to get that Rx filled… too bad that’ll be another $120 out of pocket.
  • Did I mention that my checking account has $70 again? My check from the 15th of last month didn’t show up til after the 1st, and then was only $5 more than my rent. So, he sent my check for the 1st really fast (after I explained my situation more than I would have liked to), but it was supposed to be for 3 weeks and I only got paid for 2. It was also supposed to have about $300 worth of expenses that I sent receipts for, and those weren’t covered either. Now it’s the 25th and I still don’t have that 3rd week of pay (or expense reimbursements) and am also waiting for my check from the 15th. If it doesn’t get here today, I don’t know how to deal with it.
    I hate nagging my boss for my paychecks, but last month, I had to pay my roomie a few days late (after getting a paycheck for $5 more than rent). This cycle is not amusing at ALL. Every month I wonder when I’m getting paid and whether or not I’m going to bounce a check. I LOVE my job, but don’t know how to balance. I’m trying to figure out how to live on $800 a month basically for the last 2 months, with the “rent” check showing up after the first rather than around the 20th like it’s supposed to. And I’m trying to plan my finances, but it’s almost impossible. I think I’m going to have to take out a loan to pay my credit card off, because there’s no way to plan for “decent” payments at ALL. Whenever I DO make a decent payment, I don’t get my paycheck until 2 weeks after I expect it.
    Also? I think that the fleas in my house are coming from my bed. I REALLY want to replace my bed as it is gross and lumpy and makes my back hurt and I think it has fleas, yet the money thing deems me incapable of getting on top of shit.
  • On the “living on 800 a month” note, my grocery trips have doubled in cost yet are remarkably smaller than they were in TX. I forgot that living on an island means that the cost of food goes up. Feeding myself is costing what I’d think a small family should spend. I need to start learning how to make more foods in bulk and store them. Granola bars, for example. I love the Quaker chewy ones, but they’re just too expensive.
    Also? When the Rx that keeps you stable eats up about 1/5th of your monthly budget, it’s hard not to cry. Especially when your income doesn’t have any taxes coming out of it, so you know that in less than a month, you’re totally fucked.
  • I have cut out soda! It’s true! I may drink a diet coke occasionally, but I’m not buying it regularly from the grocery store anymore. It helps that the whole cost of groceries has made soda cost prohibitive, but still. Sometimes I’ll make a pot of coffee in the morning, but my life is almost working completely without caffeine! WOAH!
  • Also? Cigarettes are pretty much gone. I’ve smoked some when I was drunk at the bar, but I have a hard time counting those. And before you give me shit for going to the bar when I’m broke, I spend less than $20 a week on friday nights at the bar.
  • Last? Go to my website. ::giggle:: It’s DONE! Well, not really done, but close. There’s definitely holes that need to be filled in and pictures to be added, but I’m very pleased, overall.

That’s it. I’m depressed over money and quitting the YMCA. But, I had a great weekend and sometimes it’s important to cut out all unnecessary expenses in order to find inner peace. I built a cutting / storage station for my bedroom to help keep the living room cleaner.