So, I’ve got a story for you about my baby girl (aka – my girl cat, Eva Luna).

On Thursday night, she somehow got out and I didn’t notice until I got up on Friday morning. All day on Friday, I wandered around my neighborhood, whistling and yelling for her, but there was no response. And, I’ll tell you, I beat myself up for not noticing she got out. My cats aren’t allowed outside here because of all the bugs in the area (fleas and ticks LOVE IT HERE) and the traffic on the street. So, the fact that she got out without my noticing is hard to believe, even now. But, it was midnight-ish and I was taking my netflix movie out to the mailbox. I must have just stopped paying attention for a second.

So, on Friday, around 7 or so, I went to the store to get a bottle of wine to drown my sorrows in, and at the end of the road I found a cat. A very dead cat. A very dead pancake of a cat that looked a lot like a gray tabby.

Coming back from the store, I slowed down and craned my neck out of the window, and looked again. Yes, this cat was very very dead, and looked a lot like Eva. I couldn’t actually stop because of the amount of traffic on the road, but my house was only down the street a little bit.

I parked my car and walked down the street to the intersection. I waited for traffic to clear, and then I looked at the cat even closer. Yes, it was the right coloring, the right size and the right timing of death. The fur was still fluffy, even though the poor cat was a pancake against the pavement. I have to say, I’m not a very religious person. In fact, I’m probably one of the least religious people that there are. Yet, I found myself standing there, saying a prayer that she left quickly and painlessly. I found myself praying that she had found Cuddles and Streak (Cuddles’ brother, who died in 1999) and Granddad and Uncle Greg, and that they were all taking care of each other.

Walking home, with tears streaming down my face, I kept mumbling to myself “I’m sorry baby girl. I’m so sorry.” All I could think about was the fact that I couldn’t have waited til the morning to take the movie to the mailbox?! Any why didn’t I notice that she didn’t come to bed with me on Thursday night? Why didn’t I notice that she had broken free? It was my fault that she had gotten out, and it was my fault that she had only lived for a year and a half. She was too young and too much fun to die. And, I felt SO guilty about the fact that on Thursday night, I had been working on a bag and ignored her pleas for attention. I couldn’t remember the last time I had given her a belly kiss, not to mention a good purr filled petting session. I had failed at being a good mama.

At this point, I called my mom. Between my broken sobs, I told her that I had found Eva. About 20 minutes later, she parked at my house and just hugged me. I cried, and she hugged. I cried some more, and she hugged some more. She stayed with me for a couple of hours, talking about our girls (Cuddles died about 6 weeks ago, at age 18), and remembering their best traits. We decided that our girls were playing together in a field of catnip, and I started to feel some closure. (HA!) I don’t know what time she left, but it was after 9:30, and I had finally pulled myself together enough that I could call my roommate (who is out of town) and let him know that we had lost a roommate.

In case you haven’t figured it out, Friday night was the longest night of my life. Around 11, my stomach turned and every few hours I ended up dry heaving into the toilet. Finally, around 9am, I was able to fall asleep for a couple of hours, but at noon, I woke up crying.

Now, I need to note this: Sarge took care of me all night, always staying close to me, and sleeping on my legs (the way Eva normally does). He even let me give him belly kisses, even though he HATES it when anyone touches his belly. It was insanely sweet how my boy stepped up and gave me the lovin I needed.

So, around 2pm on Saturday, I was watching the NCIS marathon on USA and got a phone call from a potential job. They offered me a position (which I still don’t know whether or not I can afford to live on the wages) and I finally had reason to celebrate. So, I called my mom and told her about it.

Now, I need you to picture this. I was sitting on the front porch, talking on my phone in my pajamas. My face is all blotchy from 12 hours of dry heaving and crying, and I hadn’t been able to eat anything in 24 hours. I’ve finally been able to not cry every waking moment, and I’ve started to come to terms with the fact that my perfect girl had been pancaked on the street.

And then? It happened.

She came prancing up the steps, meowing, and telling me about her big adventure. She had been gone for almost 2 days, and I was convinced she was dead.

I’m sure you can imagine how the rest of the conversation with my mom went. “EEEEE!! MOM!!! SHE’S BACK! SHE’S BACK! I’VE GOT TO GO!” and I hung up. I put her inside and she chowed down on some food. Sarge didn’t really trust her at first (I’m sure her smell was different), but they both passed out for most of the next 24 hours.

So, there you have it. The “quickie” version of the worst day (and night) of my life. I always knew that I loved my little girl like no other living creature, but I had no idea how much. I love her belly rub time and gymnastics routines and the way that she creates a spot for herself on my shelves of fabric to sleep. I love the way that she licks her brothers ears and face when he’s trying to sleep, and most of all, I love how she talks to me every time I walk into the room that she’s in.

Eva baby, I’m so glad that you’re home.

Now, you’re grounded, missy. You’re in big time trouble and are NEVER allowed to do that to me again. Now, come give mama some purrs.

Also, I have to note for the record: Preita got some crazy ass emails from me, bemoaning the loss of my girl, and managed to ALWAYS send me positive vibes back. And, also for the record, Preita, YOU WERE RIGHT. Lol.

One last thing… I’m sorry if I made you sad with this post. I hope it makes you happy too. If it didn’t make you happy at all, then I’d like to introduce you to Sequoyah and Shadow. Sequoyah is the gray tabby (an Eva look-a-like), Shadow is the “solid” gray kitty. These are my parents new kittens. They turned 7 weeks old a couple of days ago. If this picture doesn’t make you grin, then you have a black black heart.

Shadow & Sequoyah

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