Category: ponder rock


If you know someone who has horrible health insurance, raise your hand.
Yes, even you in the back knows someone with horrible health insurance. You know, the kind that you can’t afford to go to the doctor because it costs so much…
Last month, I had to get an MRI done. Of course, they didn’t find anything, but yet I got a bill for $1800 in the mail. Apparently they can only bill people “out of network” and since my insurance covers NOTHING out of network, I’m up a creek without a paddle.
And it pisses me off. I told my doctor that this issue I was talking about only happened once every 6 months or so. I told her it was when my blood sugar is normally low and when I’ve been up too late too many nights in a row. I told her that it was fine most of the time. But, she wanted me to get the MRI. She NEEDED me to get the MRI. And, instead of doing blood work which would probably get to the base of the problem, I owe the people $1800, which I don’t have.
And the worst is that she wouldn’t talk to me about my headaches until after the MRI. The headaches we’ve been dealing with medically for 6 months and nothing is working. The secondary issue affects me twice a year. The headaches affect me twice a month (or more). I now can’t afford to go talk about the headaches until at least next spring, and the secondary issue hasn’t shown up once since September.
Did I mention that life has been heaving me around in different directions lately? I found out the my income for the next 6 months will be restricted (for reasons that don’t need to be discussed here), and that as of November 1st, I have to rely on Buki to carry a lot more of the burden. Well, where the hell are we going to come up with $1800, when it took me 6 months to save the $200 I needed to (finally) get a new computer. I look forward to getting closer to 30 while still eating Ramen because it’s all I can afford.
Now, I know that everyone will be pissed at me for saying this, but we need nationalized health care. My uncle had gallbladder surgery in Australia, and it cost him about $600. Then when he came back to the states and had a couple of follow up tests done, it cost him thousands. Surgery = $600, follow up tests = over $2000. That makes no sense. Now, I’m not saying health care should be free, but I am saying that we as Americans need to able to afford basic procedures. $1800 for 30 minutes in a machine makes no sense. That much money is around 10% of my annual take-home income. For 30 minutes in a machine. Ludicrous.

writers block

I don’t even know what to write about anymore. It seems like my life is just going on, normal days and normal stuff.

Winter out here is really quiet. Really really quiet. So, I spend time reading books and doing nothing in particular. My brother and his wife came out for Thanksgiving, but Christmas was just the three of us (well, plus 4 cats. So, 7 of us). Everyone is broke, so we didn’t do anything extravagent for Christmas. The day was really nice, though. Suzi brought her son, Dresden (17 months-ish) over, and we gave him a couple of toys from the store. Apparently the blocks I got him are a big hit, as it’s been almost a month and she says that he won’t let her ever put them away.

I was drinking a lot for a while there, and it was fun. Really really fun. Dance party til 5am (and only 3 participants) goodtimes. But, my waistline shows exactly how much I was drinking and partaking in holiday foods, so I’m chilling out for a while on that. Don’t get me wrong, I love danceparties in my friends living rooms, but holy crap my body hates me.

It’s weird… most of my deep thoughts come from things that happened at work. And really, I can never write about that again, no matter what the context. So, how the hell do I tell you the “you can’t make this shit up” stories, without crossing that line?

Damn. Therein lies the source of the writers block, I think. I don’t really know what to write about. There you have it.

Summer showers

It’s been raining occasionally out here, and I love it. I went to sleep last night with the sounds of lightning and thunder pounding on the house.

It’s odd, this year. We’ve had a fire going on not too far west of the island for almost a month. But, it hasn’t hit the national news because they don’t want to mess up the tourist season. So, people get out here and are surprised when the smell of smoke occasionally overcomes the whole island. It’s just a matter of which way the wind is blowing, but for a while there it was literally making me sick.

So, the moral of the story is that people are actually being nice about rainy days this summer. People are understanding that the rain makes the fire go out, and when the fire goes out, the smoke will finally go away. The area on fire has been burning for almost a month, and without a few good days of rain, there’s no hope of it going out.

I have to make a confession… I’m not really missing the internet as much as I thought I would. I’ve been checking my email a couple of times a week and haven’t been writing or reading anywhere. I miss all of my bloggy-goddesses, but that’s admittedly it. I still need to get my computer fixed, though. I can’t believe how long its been since I’ve read any blogs regularly. Preita, how’s the house? Ally, hows Miss A? Pocklock, when are you due?

Lots of love from the beach! -Me

On the summer

Summertime at the beach is an interesting time. On one hand, you have the beach RIGHT there. But, on the other, you’re working all the time so you never really get to go there.

On Saturday, I finally got to go to the beach and it was awesome. I swam in the ocean and ate sand as the waves crashed over me. My skin got a little tint of brown and my nose turned a nice rusty brownish red. I got some tan lines on my back, and started the long process of getting my legs to heal from all of the flea bites.

This is a weird summer for me, though. Every other time I’ve been living at the beach in the summer, I was in my late teens or early 20s. Suddenly, when I go to parties at houses that I used to hang out at all the time, I don’t know people and they all seem so much younger than me. I mean, I’m never the oldest person there, but when the average age is 21, suddenly being 26 seems on the old side. All of these kids are still in college, and I’m making my life out here.

But, it’s ok. Those parties are with people who work for a company I worked for a long time ago. They have a huge summer staff and a smallish winter one. So, I branch out and try to meet new people and go to different parties.

Suddenly, I go from being the oldest one there to being in the youngish age group again. It feels good to hang out with people from 5 or 6 years my younger to 15 or 20 years my elder. It feels natural and right. We find common bonds across generations, primarily the love of the ocean and late-night bonfires. Someone brings out a guitar and suddenly there is music floating across the waves. The waves crash against the sand in the darkness of night, and we all lose our shoes and run to the edge of the sand, allowing the salt water to soak our shorts and skirts as we kid around and threaten to push eachother deeper.

Summertime is a good time. I’m glad it’s here.

Ok, so now I have 2 jobs to choose between. And, I don’t know what to do! They’re both with great banks, but one pays $1 more an hour. However, for that $1 an hour, I’d be the head teller rather than a normal teller. Is it worth it? Anyone know?

To be totally honest, I think I’d rather work for the bank with the lower pay. This is for a couple of reasons. First of all, it’s a bank based in Canada, so the benefits are really good. Also, it’s the bank I’ve been with for years, and I really like the way they work. I also love the manager, and when I stopped by today to make a deposit (haha, a check for $39 from my mom!), she was excited to see me and introduced me to another lady saying “This is Cassafrass, she’s starting next monday!”

However, the bank with the higher pay has TONS of room for growth, as their head teller is moving back to PA, and the bank manager is actually a VP for the company who is filling in as the bank manager for the time being. It’s also a community bank, in every sense of the word. They’re only located out here, and encourage their staff to take continuing education classes (paid for) and to be involved in the local community out here.

Gah! What do I do? I already told the first bank “yes”, but I don’t start til next week, so it’s not really official yet. I called the second bank today to let them know that I had accepted another offer, and she was like “why?! we’ll pay you more and you love it here!” Ack.

Decisions are hard to make. But, the good news is that I get to decide between 2 jobs that are equally good.