I woke up this morning with one of those “nagging behind the eyes” headaches. I took some pills for it, yet it won’t f-in go away. I have SO MUCH to do today to feel like I had a productive week for work, and this damn headache is just making me annoyed and tired.

BOO.

However, this week has been a good one. I dealt with some stuff that I needed to deal with, and now I’ve made it my decision to let the petty b.s. die. Don’t get me wrong, the 12 year old in me REALLY wants to go on and on and on about it. But, the 25 year old say “jesus christ. stop losing sleep. therefore, stop thinking about it. mmmkay?”

So, this is a rapid change of topic. Hence, the title about cats.

My cats have been painfully cute this week too. And, when I say painfully cute, I really mean it.

Eva has been a little on the needy side, but my lap has never had more sneak attacks. I mean, I’d come to my computer at like 10pm to check my email (because I’m cool like that) and within 10 seconds of sitting down, she’d be all “purrpurrpurrpurr LAPPPPPPPP” and snuggle on down. (And I’ll tell you, she knows how to snuggle in. She walks the circle of the lap, then rolls into her spot, with her head landing first and her ass last. It’s hilarious.)

Well, that’s awesome, except I didn’t intend on sitting in that chair for more than 3 minutes. And also? I cultivated this cat to be a lap cat. As soon as I got her, I knew that I’d need her in my lap as much as possible. So, I really don’t like to get up when she’s done her job and warmed my lap. So, suddenly I have this precious purring bundle of napping cat in my lap, and  just feel guilty getting up. So, I end up playing computer games for a while, until she bores of the nap or I have to pee.

And then there’s Sarge. That cat has really grown into his body in the last year, and he’s this huge man cat. When I say huge, I don’t mean fat, though. He’s got a little belly, but is just muscular and lean. But, all that cat muscle is actually quite  heavy. And if he lays sprawled, he’s probably as long as my legs. So, last night, he decides that he needs some loving RIGHT NOW. We go through the routine in which he meows his “I’m ready for The Love” meow, and I immediately drop everything I’m doing because he is only ready for “The Love” about once a day, if even that. He gets in my lap, starts making biscuits on my stomach, and boobs, and arms, and legs and EVERYWHERE.  It’s kindof uncomfortable in that really cute way, but he is just purring up a storm and letting me scratch him all over. This is unusual, yet awesome. He was throwing his body into a good neck and shoulder scratch when it happened.

I get a whiff of something that smells like putrid ass.

I turn to my roommate and ask “did you fart?”

He looks at me and says “You know you would have known it if I did”

I look back and say “so, you didn’t? Because I didn’t.”

He looks at me and gets a whiff.

WOAH.

Yes, my cat is all lovey dovey in my lap and then farted.

MY CAT FARTS. I know of other people who have cats that fart, but I’ve never had one. And it was hilariously horrible. I mean, my eyes watered a bit, people.

So, I’m wondering if this extreme love fest was in reality my cat experiencing gas pains and confusing the feelings of love and gas with each other. Because, of course, my roomie goes to pet the cat to congratulate him on such an awesome fart, so the cat runs away. He looks at us all like we’re crazy, and starts chasing the fish in the fish tank.

And that was the end of The Love last night.

So, when I say that my cats were painfully cute, I meant it. It was cute and hilarious, but it still hurts a little to remember that smell.